If there is one thing I want to instill in my children it is a love and respect for their family. However, my children are lucky enough to have a loving mother and a loving father. I however was not so lucky, I have a missing piece. Where a loving father should have been, I was cursed with a mentally damaged one, one who didn't seem to care for the fact that I was just a child. He hurt me in so many ways that as far as I am concerned he is dead to me.
Because of this I feel like there is a small experience in life that though not completely known, it is felt. I didn't have a father to walk me down the aisle (Thanks for that goes to my brother, Love you Bob), I never was able to attend a father/daughter dance, and songs about fathers make my heart hurt with all my being. Sometimes I wonder what the reason was, why did he feel the need to steal all of my childhood from me? What had I done to deserve it, what did I do wrong?
Now I have come to realize that his twisted perversion was not my fault, it was just a test in a long line of destinational tests created to see the strength of the one who endures it! I passed, I passed with flying colors, and today I am a strong woman, a mother who loves unconditionally and would die if anyone damaged my children in the way that the man who fathered me did! I would spend the rest of my life in jail for killing the person who would have the nerve to steal my children's innocence.
That is why to me family is more important than anything, ANYTHING! Watching cartoons with the kids, making pictures, splashing in a pond, heck even arguing with them is the best thing in the world right now! I know it is important for me to make sure they know they are loved, and that they are given the best that I can give them in every way possible.
Sorry this is not as happy as the other posts but I was feeling the need to express myself and now that I have I hope you can appreciate the fact that I love my children more than anything! Thank you my faithfuls!
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